What is abuse?

Signs of Abuse

•  Being physically hurt by your abuser
•  Feeling intimidated/ controlled/ manipulated by your abuser
•  Feeling afraid of your abuser
•  Feeling isolated from others
•  Changing your behavior because of your abuser’s temper/actions
•   Feeling embarrassed/ controlled when you are with friends, family, or in public
•   Being threatened verbally, emotionally, or physically
•   Being afraid to express your own feelings
•   A nervous or sick feeling when around your abuser
• Abuser is easily angered
• Not being allowed to, or being afraid to make decisions for yourself
•  Not feeling respected
•   Abuser calls you bad name or puts you down
•  Abuser tells you you’re a bad parent/ threatens to take away your children
• Abuser destroys your property or threatens/hurts your pets
• Abuser threatens to kill you or commit suicide

 Cycle of Violence

In many relationships that domestic violence is used by the abuser, it is common for the first attack to appear as an isolated incident. However, after the violence begins, it can often spiral into a pattern or cycle:

Tension Building

Abusers often verbally harass their partners. They are afraid that their partners will leave them and they become more possessive, jealous and aggressive. During this phase, victims may do anything to try and keep the peace. They are very nurturing and go along with whatever the abuser wants. Some victims may try and set the abusers off in order to get the abuse over with. Victims often make excuses for abusers’ behavior during the tension-building phase.

Acute Battering

Abusers are extremely unpredictable and often seem to be out of control. Abusers blame their partners for the abuse. Abuse may not necessarily be physical. It can involve humiliation or intimidation as well. Partners are left to passively accept the abuse and often minimize the abuse to themselves or others who may question them.

Honeymoon

Abusers are calm, loving and apologize for their actions, promising their partners that “it will never happen again.” They often hope that the abuser will change.

If you are in immediate danger please call 911.

The Luna County Healing House is open 24/7, please call 575-546-6539 or come to 522 W. Pine St. Deming, NM.